Monday, June 30, 2014

Centurion...

try hard as we might
there was no
ignoring
the scratching
coming from the walls
and there was no
reckoning
to be had
with the things
crawling on our skin
but we laid there
together
all we had
each other
and my arm was around you
and your head was on my chest
as you softly slept
and in your dreams
the storm must've turned
the scratching of the things
finding its way through
the tempest inside
and i heard you
start to mewl
and whine
and cry out
from the dark place
down where your dreaming
had taken you
and so i raised my hand
from its home on your hip
and softly
smoothed your hair
away from your troubled
beautiful face
so near to mine
and i cupped your head gently
and i loved you
and you were quiet again and

everything

was

perfect

Monday, June 23, 2014

Gone, Gone Beyond...

today
was the day
i turned it all off
all the noise
all the chatter
all the distractions
all the fear and fervent mysticism
all the pain and errant prophecy
all the useless superstitions
and endless contradictions
because i realized
i didn't need it
i didn't even want it
so that's when
i decided
i reached over
and out
and deliberately
pressed

OFF



and then there was Sky
and Sun
and the Grass-scented Wind
flowing all over my skin
sensuous as a silk gown
and it was then
i felt the Lift
i've been waiting so long
i'd forgotten it
what it was like
that merciful
glorious
gods-send

Lift

like in an elevator
that falls too fast
and stops short
in that half-second
when you taste your heartsblood in your mouth
and your mind floats weightless in your skull
and you know the Secret of All Things
in the Lift

as i was then
as i was flying
doing a hundred-and-one through the soft-blue sky
the midsummer wind pulling the tears from my eyes
as i remembered Her face
all over again
for the ten-thousandth time

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I Have Sowed Need, And What Then I Reaped...

i was so afraid
so afraid of
not needing you
so unaware
that i was
loving from fear
so confused
thinking love
demanded need
too oblivious
to see
my desire
pulling you under

as soon as i
gave up
gave in
let go
stopped
needing you
i was suddenly

Free

finally free to
see you
hear you
know you
your real you
because you
were finally free
of my weight
of my need

what i needed
what i really needed
after all and everything
is over and done
was to get out of the fucking way
and just be me
and let you be you
so we could meet each other
again
and fall
for the first time

Friday, May 16, 2014

My Love Is Stronger Than My Fear Of Death...

Out in the West Texas
    town of El Paso
I fell in love
    with a Mexican girl.
Night-time would find me
    in Rosa's cantina;
Music would play
    and Felina would whirl.

Blacker than night
    were the eyes of Felina,
Wicked and evil
    while casting a spell.
My love was deep
    for this Mexican maiden;
I was in love
    but in vain, I could tell.

One night a wild young cowboy came in,
Wild as the West Texas wind.
Dashing and daring,
A drink he was sharing
With wicked Felina,
The girl that I loved.

So in anger I
Challenged his right
    for the love of this maiden.
Down went his hand
    for the gun that he wore.
My challenge was answered
    in less than a heart-beat;
The handsome young stranger
    lay dead on the floor.

Just for a moment
    I stood there in silence,
Shocked by the foul evil
    deed I had done.
Many thoughts raced
    through my mind as I stood there;
I had but one chance
    and that was to run.

Out through the back door of Rosa's I ran,
Out where the horses were tied.
I caught a good one.
It looked like it could run.
Up on its back
And away I did ride,

Just as fast as I
Could from the West Texas
    town of El Paso
Out to the bad-lands
    of New Mexico.

Back in El Paso
    my life would be worthless.
Everything's gone in life;
    nothing is left.
It's been so long
    since I've seen the young maiden
My love is stronger
    than my fear of death.

I saddled up and away I did go,
Riding alone in the dark.
Maybe tomorrow
A bullet may find me.
Tonight nothing's worse than this
Pain in my heart.

And at last here I
Am on the hill
    overlooking El Paso;
I can see Rosa's
    cantina below.
My love is strong
    and it pushes me onward.
Down off the hill
    to Felina I go.

Off to my right
    I see five mounted cowboys;
Off to my left
    ride a dozen or more.
Shouting and shooting
    I can't let them catch me.
I have to make it
    to Rosa's back door.

Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel
A deep burning pain in my side.
Though I am trying
To stay in the saddle,
I'm getting weary,
Unable to ride.

But my love for
Felina is strong
    and I rise where I've fallen,
Though I am weary
    I can't stop to rest.
I see the white puff
    of smoke from the rifle.
I feel the bullet
    go deep in my chest.

From out of nowhere
    Felina has found me,
Kissing my cheek
    as she kneels by my side.
Cradled by two loving
    arms that I'll die for,
One little kiss
    and Felina,
  
    Good-bye.

          -"El Paso"
            Marty Robbins, Gunfighter Ballads & Trail Songs

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Initiation...

As we ate the poison, we looked up into the night sky, to see the bright pointed horn of the May crescent moon break from behind the dragon smoke wisp of cloud. Jupiter stood out bright as a laser directly above. And all of these celestials nestled perfectly between the Great Twins of Gemini.

The door opened.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Though A Youth Of Twenty-Four...

To the town of Agua Fria
    rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him,
    didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip
For the stranger there among them
    had a big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

It was early in the morning
    when he rode into the town
He came ridin' from the south side
    slowly lookin' all around
"He's an outlaw loose and runnin'" came the whisper from each lip
"And he's here to do some business with
    the big iron on his hip"
Big iron on his hip

In this town there lived an outlaw by
    the name of Texas Red
Many men had tried to take him and
    that many men were dead
He was vicious and a killer, though a youth of twenty-four
And the notches on his pistol
    numbered one and nineteen more
One and nineteen more

Now the stranger started talkin'
    made it plain to folks around
Was an Arizona Ranger
    wouldn't be too long in town
He came here to take an outlaw back, alive or maybe dead
And he said it didn't matter,
    he was after Texas Red
After Texas Red

Wasn't long before the story was
    relayed to Texas Red
But the outlaw didn't worry
    men that tried before were dead
Twenty men had tried to take him, twenty men had made a slip
Twenty-one would be the Ranger with
    the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

The morning passed so quickly,
    it was time for them to meet
It was twenty past eleven
    when they walked out in the street
Folks were watching from the windows, everybody held their breath
They knew this handsome Ranger was
    about to meet his death
About to meet his death

There was forty feet between them
    when they stopped to make their play
And the swiftness of the Ranger
    is still talked about today
Texas Red had not cleared leather 'fore a bullet fairly ripped
And the Ranger's aim was deadly with
    the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

It was over in a moment and
    the folks had gathered 'round
There before them lay the body of
    the outlaw on the ground
Oh, he might have went on livin', but he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger with
    the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

Big Iron!
Big Iron!
When he tried to match the Ranger with
    the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

          -"Big Iron"
            Marty Robbins, Gunfighter Ballads & Trail Songs

Monday, March 10, 2014

Men And Their Fathers...

all sons
at some point
inevitably
face the same
dilemma:

either
figure out a way
to be
more successful
than your father
or
figure out a way
to deal
with the inescapable feeling
of having
failed
at being a man