Kickball - Week 12...

I've never been happier to lose something.

Last night was the opening round of our kickball "championships."  (In quotes because every team in the league is entered, regardless of their win-loss record.)  We lost again, of course, and that means our season is over.  So, I don't have to play kickball anymore!  I get my Thursday nights back!

And I don't have to write about kickball anymore here, either!

Still, there's one thing that I definitely got out of the experience.  Driving home last night, I realized that I had a sense of pride, accomplishment, and satisfaction.  Yeah, our team sucked real, real bad.  And yeah, it was a painful and deeply humiliating experience every week.  And yeah, I hated it more than root canals.

But I did it.

I could've walked away at any time.  But I didn't.  I came back every week, and I played as hard as I could, in every single game, for the entire season.  I never gave up, and I never quit.  No matter how much I wanted to.

And that's something.

Kickball - Week 11...

We lost.

Both games.

By a lot.

And I'm sorry, folks, but I just don't have the will to go into my usual level of excruciating detail about the experience this time.  I've just got much better things to do with my life than record every particle of my humiliation here.

It stopped being funny awhile ago.

Next week is the Quarterfinals (don't take the fact that we're in the Quarterfinals as a sign of our skill at all; every team is in the Quarterfinals), and if we lose our game (which is a safe bet, to say the least), then that will be my blessedly-last game.

I whole-heartedly look forward to the sense of accomplishment I will feel at that point, as my only reward for these weeks and months of embarrassment and sacrifice.  Hell, I may even join everyone else at the League Happy Hour afterwards, for once.

Kickball - Week 10...

Half our team didn't even show up again this week, including our pitcher.  It was hot, humid, and buggy out there last night, and, unsurprisingly, we got our asses handed to us, again.

POSITION:

          -once again, traded innings with the old guy out in left field - he originally had me out there the
           whole game, and had two of the girls trading innings, until someone pointed out that according
           to league rules, that would be mean we wouldn't have enough girls in the field every inning - so
           the girls got to play the whole game, and I only got to play half the game

          -one ball got kicked along the ground into left field, and I ended up having to run for it - trying to
           get it back to the infield to stop the runner heading for Home, I only managed to throw it an
           embarrassing ten feet (that ball is so big, and so light, that it's basically impossible to throw it
           with any distance or accuracy, unless you have gigantic, basketball-player hands - which I do
           not) - the runner ended up scoring easily

          -in the last inning, a ball was kicked right to me - perfect arc, straight to my chest - I didn't
           even have to take a single step in any direction - all I had to do was not drop it - and I
           FINALLY managed to do something right! - I caught the fucking ball!  In an actual
           game! - that was the third out to end their half of the inning, and my very first (and so far, only)
           out of the season

          -I felt pretty good about that, for about ten seconds - then everyone started to congratulate
           me - I know they were trying to be nice, and encouraging, and I know that I'm supposed to
           have enjoyed the praise and felt good about what I'd done, but it just ended up souring the
           whole experience for me - they were all so overly-congratulatory - "Wow!  Way to go, man!
           Good job!  I know you've been waiting for that one for a long time!  Awesome!  Great
           catch!" - even people on the other team were coming up and literally patting me on the back
           and saying "Great catch, man!" - but it wasn't a great catch! - it was the easiest catch in the
           fucking world! - and everyone overflowing with gratitude at my ability to not fuck up the easiest
           play of the game just seemed to exacerbate my humiliation

          -again, I know that I really should've taken the compliment for what it was and just been happy
           to receive the support and congratulations - and I honestly wish I could've - but it all just came
           across more like "Pats for Patrick" than honest praise for a job well-done

AT THE PLATE:

          -the first few games in the season I was kicking away, and getting on base a little less than
           half the time - then our coach decided we should all be bunting - my first bunting game went
           well, but since then it's been nothing but easy pop-outs caught by the pitcher or (even worse)
           the catcher, and I've only made it on base once with a bunt since that first game

          -so, this game, I decided to hell with my coach, I'm going to start kicking away again - unless
           I'm the first kicker in the inning, because strategy dictates that the first kicker should always
           bunt to try to get on base - besides, I've only been the first kicker in the inning one other time
           all season

          -I was the first kicker in the inning for both of my kicks this game

          -went ahead and bunted - both were easy outs - another dreaded pop-out caught by the
           catcher, and one where I actually managed to get off a bit of a kick, but they were just quicker
           than me and threw me out at 1st

FINAL:

          -we scored 1 run - they scored many, many, many more

INJURIES:

          -only emotional

Attack Of The Blurble...

Ok, so, got my computer back, and spent all night setting it up.  Naturally, the System Restore crashed.  (I used Microsoft's built-in Backup/Restore this time.  This is the 3rd backup/restore method I have tried over the years, and not one of them has ever worked correctly.)  About 65-70% of my settings/files/programs restored correctly.  So, still some work to do, but nowhere near as much as there could've been.  Thankful for even the small victories right now.

Speaking of small victories, I'd been prepared for playing kickball tonight in the middle of the brutal heat wave we're having right now, but then this morning they canceled the game.  Apparently, a whole lot of people weren't going to bother playing in this heat.  So, hurray for that.  Not only because I won't have to play - or play in this heat - but also because I have a ton of other work to do tonight to get ready for our vacation this weekend, and I wasn't relishing the idea of having to do all of that around nine o'clock tonight when I finally got home from playing a game out in near-110 degree temps all evening.

And speaking of our vacation at our mountain forest cabin this weekend, I'm so happy to have my laptop back!  Means we'll be able to listen to our music, and, most importantly, I'll be able to get a bunch of writing done.  My plans are to spend as much of the weekend as possible writing, meditating, eating, and having sex.  Those are my only priorities for the next three days.  Definitely not going to suck to be me this weekend.

No wifi at the cabin, though, so don't expect to hear anything from me until at least Sunday.

And I keep forgetting about the fact that this will be my first ever trip to the cabin spent entirely sober.  I never would've even considered going up there before without at least something to drink or smoke.  Now I'm actually looking forward to it, and the fact that I'll be sober is an almost-overlooked afterthought.  Is that progress?

I hope you all enjoy your weekends half as much as I'm planning to enjoy mine.

Kickball - Week 8...

Half our team didn't even show up this week.  (And, honestly, I can't blame them.  We're the worst team in the league, by far.  Every other team has beat us, some of them twice.  We're the only team out there every week that doesn't at least have a shot at winning.)  If one more player hadn't shown up, we wouldn't have had enough to officially play, and would've had to forfeit.  And the other team (2nd best in the league) had a full roster.

As you can imagine, we never had a chance.

POSITION:

          -the upside of having so few players show up was that I got to do more this game
          -I covered center field and 2nd base, so I got to move around a lot more
          -still never saw any action, though - everyone kicked right or left, and there was never a play at
           2nd base

AT THE PLATE:

          -again, because of the light roster, I got to do more at the plate - I kicked an unprecedented
           four times this game
          -three of them were easy pop-outs, and one was a walk - at least I got on base this time
          -for those keeping score (me), that's 8 easy pop-outs out of my last 9 kicks - I do alright in
           practice, but then I can't seem to repeat the same thing in the game, and I don't know why -
           I'm not nervous at all up there, honestly, so it's not like I'm choking - I don't get it!

FINAL:

          -I stopped counting when they hit double-digits

INJURIES:

          -actually managed to get in a workout this time, with all the running around and extra kicking
           and stuff
          -but I'm getting used to it, so no injuries or anything - wasn't even sore afterwards
          -oh, wait! - I did manage to somehow pull an ab muscle trying to catch a pop-fly in practice -
           no idea how that works

Kickball - Week 7...

Another hard fought game (by the rest of the team, at least - I didn't do a damn thing), and another heartbreaking loss by one run in the last inning.

Why do I keep doing this??  I don't want to do this anymore, I'm not having any fun, I'm exhausted, gods know I add no value or worth to my team whatsoever, and I'm not even getting any exercise.  So why do I keep doing this to myself?

I guess because I don't want to quit more than I don't want to play kickball anymore.  I guess because I at least want the satisfaction of completing the season, seeing as it is likely the only satisfaction I'm going to get out of the experience.

POSITION:

          -he had me in Left field for odd innings - even innings, the old guy took the spot
          -some of the girls (not all of them) also had to split innings this way - so I'm grouped with the
           girls and the old guy - Awesome.
          -no balls came anywhere near Left field the whole game

AT THE PLATE:

          -both my kicks were easy outs - I never even made it to 1st base - and both my outs were the
           third out to end the inning
          -my first kick I managed to somehow bunt the ball directly behind me and straight into the
           arms of the catcher, for the shortest pop-fly out in kickball history - I was right there, saw it
           with my own eyes, and still do not understand how it happened - it seemed to defy all known
           physics - unless the ball was made of iron and the catcher's hands were actually magnets -
           another classic "this could only happen to me" moment
          -although, I did feel slightly vindicated when one of our best kickers managed to kick the ball
           into their own face this game

FINAL:

          -who gives a fuck

INJURIES:

          -didn't hurt myself, because I didn't do a goddamned thing the whole game
          -half the innings I sat on the bench watching the game, the other innings I stood in the field
           watching the game - and I never ran more than ten feet from home plate either time I kicked
          -big fucking woo

Bride of Blurble...

Finally caught up on all my work, email, etc. that's piled up during the past few days of PC Swap Madness.  Feels good to be done with that.  Not only because I don't have to deal with it anymore, but the feeling of accomplishment is quite pleasant, as well.

I'm really tired, though.  Been extra busy and out late pretty much every night, plus I've been pushing myself at the gym extra hard this week (might've picked the wrong week to start back in on the weights - ouch).  I've been getting to bed early to try and make up for it, but it hasn't been enough; I'm still utterly exhausted every morning.

I really, really do not want to go play kickball right now.  I do not have the energy, and after last game, it's lost any sense of fun or enjoyment it might've once held for me.  Half-an-hour ago, the sky was black with clouds, and the wind was whipping the trees back and forth.  Seemed certain that we were about to get hit with a major thunderstorm.  Thought my prayers had been answered.  Now the sky is clear and blue, the wind has died down, and there is no sign at all of that huge thunderstorm anywhere.

What the hell?!

I'm disappointed in you, Thor.


Ugh.  Guess it's time to go suit up and humiliate myself for the evening.  Oh, joy.  Will me luck.

(Some skill wouldn't hurt, either.)

(Why couldn't we have had a softball team??  I can play softball!  I can catch softballs, I can throw softballs, I can even fucking hit softballs!  But, no, we had to play with a giant, red, bouncy ball, just so that I can go out there every Thursday night and feel like an eight year-old girl.  Awesome.)

(And by "awesome," I mean, "completely fucking weak.")

(Ugh.)

Kickball - Week 6...

One of the most humiliating experiences of my adult life.  (And I only say "my adult life," because my childhood was basically just one, long, extended humiliating experience.)

POSITION:

          -played 2nd base in both games, which was certainly an improvement over the outfield

          -still dropped both balls that came near me

          -only other action I saw was one throw to my base, where the shortstop (who is also our
           coach) ran over to try and catch the ball a foot in front of me - guess he didn't have much
           confidence that I'd be able to catch it myself - and who could blame him - oh, and he dropped
           the ball

AT THE PLATE:

          -got two base-hits out of five at-bats - hardly a stellar record - never got farther than 2nd base

FINAL:

          -we lost both games

          -we lost the first game by double-digits - worst score of the season so far for us - it was just
           one error after another - two of our best players didn't even show up until halfway through the
           first inning - at one point, someone on the other team actually scored an inside-the-park
           home run (that's a new one!) because we kept making error after error trying to get him out - I
           was just glad when that one was over

          -second game we played against the team we tied last time - we played this game hard - we
           played our asses off - we played with heart - we were already exhausted, but we really
           wanted this win - we kept the score really tight the whole game, made only a couple of errors,
           and had a good shot to win - in the bottom of the last inning, down by one run, I basically lost
           the game for our team - yeah, that feels good

INJURIES:

          -feel like I drove my left hip up into my fucking shoulder

          -my shins feel like Freddy Krueger is using them to play a fucking harp solo

          -I hurt real bad

Kickball - Week 5...

Played our best game of the season last night.  I think our come-from-behind win last week fired people up.  Everyone was eager to practice, and actually working to try and improve and play better.  And everyone clearly wanted to win.  We made a lot of really spectacular plays, and hardly any errors, got more base-hits than in any game before this, and ended up really evenly matched against a team that clearly would've wiped the field with us a couple weeks ago.

POSITION:

          -due to injuries and vacations, we were short-staffed this week - which meant I got to play
           center field

          -even with the bump-up in field status, I still only had two plays come my way - first one was a
           high pop-up directly to me - I knew I could catch it, and this would be my first opportunity to
           finally do something right in the outfield, and finally get my first out - but I had to run forward
           in order to catch the ball, and I took one too many steps - so instead of the ball falling towards
           me aimed at my chest (which is what I wanted), it was falling towards me aimed at my face
           (which is not what I wanted) - so I couldn't just hug the ball to my body, which is the easiest
           way to catch the super-bouncy kickball, and instead had to try to catch it in my hands in
           order to keep it from slamming me in the face (again) - which of course, I can't do (the ball just
           bounces straight out of my hands every time) - predictably, the ball bounced off of my hands,
           high into the air, and I was about to make our first error of the game - luckily, the guy playing
           left field had run all the way over to me to try and catch the ball himself (now there's a
           confidence booster!) and he was able to catch it on the rebound from me, gaining the out, and
           saving me from an error

          -the other play I had was just a ball that bounced over the 2nd baseman's head, so I fielded it
           and managed to get it to 3rd base to stop the runner from going Home - simple, easy, nothing
           special - at least I didn't fuck it up

AT THE PLATE:

          -first kick was a base-hit - and for the first time, it was skill, rather than luck, that got me
           there - the ball went exactly where I wanted it, in the exact way I wanted it to - felt pretty good            about that - managed to get to 2nd base before our third out ended the inning

          -second-and-final kick (I'm always at the end of the roster, so I only ever get two kicks a game,            whereas everybody else, including all of the girls, and the old guy with the limp, get in three)
           was a short pop-fly, easily caught by the pitcher

FINAL:

          -it was a really tight game - we kept it tied 0-0 into about the 3rd or 4th inning - finally, the old
           guy with the limp made our first error of the game

          -he was playing 3rd base, and we threw him the ball to stop the runner at 3rd from going
           Home - he gets the ball, and stops the runner, so all he has to do at this point is give the ball
           back to the pitcher and the play is over - but he throws it to 2nd base, for no explainable
           reason - the runner at 2nd was already ON the base when he threw the ball, so who the fuck
           was he trying to get out?! - it's as if, whenever he gets the ball, he just randomly does
           something with it, without actually thinking about what he should do with it - anyways, as a
           result, the runner at 3rd ran Home, and the runner at 2nd advanced to 3rd

          -so, skip to the last inning, again, and the other team has a couple of runs on the board, while
           we're still scoreless - but we are apparently Team Come From Behind, because in our last
           chance at the plate, we manage to score all of our runs for the entire game - enough to put us
           up by 1

          -bottom of the last inning, the other team gets one more chance at the plate - and despite our
           best efforts, we made a couple more errors, and they managed to score another run - so the
           game ended in a tie (which isn't a win, but it's still a lot better than a loss), making us 2-2-1
           for the season

INJURIES:

          -I worked hard this game, in a way I haven't since the season opener - really worked up a
           sweat, and got a good workout out of it - so, I'm pretty wiped today, and I'm generally sore all
           over - but, other than that, I'm doing fine - no specific injuries to report - I think it's clear now
           that I'm in better shape than I was when we started the season

          -it was even kind of fun this week

Kickball - Week 4...

This was, by far, the most humiliating experience I've had with this so far.  It was like middle-school all over again.

POSITION:

          -the humiliation began when he actually benched me for the first two innings - he put the old
           guy with the limp (who has dropped every single ball that has come anywhere near him) on
           2nd base, for fuck's sake! - felt a little better when he switched out the old guy and put me on
           2nd for the 3rd and 4th innings, but then he put the old guy back in for the 5th and 6th!

           -that might have something to do with my one and only play at 2nd - in the 4th inning, a guy
           was running from 1st, and they threw me the ball very late - it hit my hands and immediately
           bounced out (kickballs are so bouncy that they're actually surprisingly hard to catch) - as I
           reached out to retrieve it, the runner ran straight into me, slamming his shoulder into my ear
           and almost knocking me over - luckily, he overran the base (ought to give you some idea how
           hard he hit me) and someone else managed to get the ball and tag him out before he could
           get back to 2nd - still, hardly a stellar play for me

AT THE PLATE:

          -I could not hit from this pitcher! - he threw these ridiculously bouncy curveballs - he walked a
           lot of kickers, honestly, but I was unfortunately not one of them - every pitch he threw me that
           looked like it was going to be a ball, would suddenly veer at the last second and turn into a
           strike - and every ball he threw that looked like a strike would suddenly bounce at the last
           second, so that I would end up ineffectively "kicking" it with my shin instead of my foot

          -I managed to "kick" three balls that way - the first one flew straight upwards off of my shin
           and slammed directly into my own face - ?! - I've never seen anything like that before! - so, of
           course, it would happen to me - now do you understand when I say it was like middle-school
           all over again? - to their credit, at least no one laughed - at least, not that I heard

          -the other two "kicks" were lazy pop-flys that never even made it to the pitcher's mound, and
           were easily caught - for the last one, the bases were loaded, we were down 4-1, and I was the
           final out to end the inning, meaning that even though we'd managed to load the bases, thanks
           to me, we hadn't scored a single run

FINAL:

          -Ok, here's where it gets interesting - we'd been down 4-1 since the 2nd inning - now it's the
           final inning, and we get a runner on base - then we get a second runner on base, but he
           manages to hurt himself running to 1st, so we need a pinch runner - as the last person out,
           that "honor" falls to me - here I was sitting on the sidelines, thinking "well, at least it's finally
           over and I won't have to embarrass myself anymore," and then suddenly I have to go run for
           this guy - and, of course, the final humiliation being that, the only way I managed to get on
           base all game was when someone else got hurt

          -so the next kicker gets out, but I manage to run to 2nd base before they can get me - next
           kicker also gets out, but our runner on 3rd manages to make it home, so now it's 4-2, with 2
           outs in the last inning, and I'm the only runner, on 2nd base - next guy gets a single, but it's
           kicked toward 3rd base, so I don't run, and so now we have runners on 1st and 2nd, and I
           have to run on the next kick - next kick is a pop-fly, and it looks like it's all over for us, but
           their pitcher drops the ball! - so I haul ass to 3rd base, and the pitcher throws the ball at
           me/towards 3rd to try and get me out, but he overthrows both me and the base, sending the
           ball into the outfield - so I round 3rd and keep going, booking it toward Home Plate - I see the
           ball sail over my head toward the catcher - I see him catch the ball, standing on top of Home
           Plate, and look directly at me, running straight toward him - I can't stop now, so I run straight
           at him, trying my best not to completely bowl him over, knowing that I'm out, again, and that
           this one ended the game, and that now we've lost, again, and that it's all my fault, again

          -And then I hear the Ump call, "Safe!" - everyone, myself included, simultaneously says,
           "What?!" - apparently, since the catcher was holding the ball against his chest, and standing
           directly on Home Plate, that meant I ran into the catcher, the ball and Home Plate at the
           same time, which means I was Safe - if the catcher had held the ball out in front of him, away
           from his chest, so that I hit the ball before I hit him and the plate, then I would've been out -
           but he didn't, so I wasn't

          -Holy Shit!  I managed to actually score a run!  And somehow, I did it without even getting a
           base hit

          -But then, even better, we got another base hit, and another run, to tie the game at 4-4! - so
           now we're thinking, "Awesome!  We didn't lose again!" - but then, miraculously, we got
           another base hit, and another run, so now the game's over, and it's 4-5, and WE WON!

          -Holy fucking shit, the Bad News Bears managed to win a game! - In the last inning! - With
           two outs! - WTF?!

          -So, now were 2-2 for the season.  Hallelujah. 

INJURIES:

          -Even though I collided with other players on two separate occasions, and managed to kick a
           ball into my own face, surprisingly I walked away without a scratch on me - not even so much
           as a sore muscle

          -Guess it turned out to be a good day, after all.

Kickball - Week 3...

Played against the team that's won the championship every year so far.  Seems like they somehow managed to get every single athlete at my company on their team.  I smell fix.

POSITION:

          -Right Field, again  (had my best practice by far, but still got stuck in Bumfuck, Nowhere)
          -not a single ball came anywhere near me; I could've taken a nap out there.  I almost did.

AT THE PLATE:

          -base hit (managed to get to 2nd base before we got our 3rd out)
          -pop-fly, out

FINAL:

          -thought we had a chance until the 2nd-to-last inning, then they crushed us; still didn't lose as
           badly as that first game, though

INJURIES:

          -I don't know if it's because this game was so boring compared to the last two, or if I'm just
           getting in better shape, but I managed to not hurt myself this week.  Thank gods for small
           favors?  (And ibuprofen.)

Kickball - Week 2...

Had a lot more players on both teams this week.  Thought that would make more of a difference than it actually did.

POSITION:

          -"Other" Left Field (so many players, we had to double up in the field; at least I wasn't Right
            field again)
          -my boss kicked a pop-fly straight to me, and I totally could've caught it, if it hadn't been falling
           directly out of the Sun.  I was so blinded, I couldn't judge the distance between myself and the
           ball in the slightest.  As a result, I completely missed it, the ball hit the ground in front of me,
           and then bounced over my head.  The guy who was playing "Actual" Left Field had to get it for
           me.  As a result of my error, my boss got a standing double, and eventually scored.

AT THE PLATE:

          -pop-fly, out
          -base hit (made it to third base on the next two kicks, but then we got our 3rd out to end the
           inning just as I was running home; so I got to hurt myself running all the bases, but never
           actually got to score a run.)

FINAL:

          -we actually won - and by more than we lost last week!  I'm still not entirely sure how that
           happened.

INJURIES:

          -My entire right leg is basically fucked:
                    -shin splints
                    -sore hip joint
                    -pulled thigh muscle (back of the thigh, above the knee - is this the hamstring?)

Kickball - Week 1...

Played our season opener last night against the #2 ranked team in the league.

POSITION:

          -Right Field (of course - I wanted catcher, but they gave that to the 60 year-old guy with a limp)
          -only action I saw was a ball that bounced over the short-stop's head.  Once I got the ball, I
           couldn't throw it far enough to get it all the way to home plate to stop the incoming run.

AT THE PLATE:

          -pop-fly, out
          -base hit (next kicker got tagged out to end the inning, so I never made it to 2nd base)

FINAL:

          -we lost, badly - it was like the Bad News Bears out there, y'all

INJURIES:

          -pulled back muscle
          -shin splints
          -sore hip joint
          -sore quad muscles