Before She Wakes...

It's quiet in here right now.  Early-Sunday-morning quiet.

When I'm lucky, I get two of these a week.  These all-too-brief respites of quiescence.  I've come to understand how much I look forward to them, without even knowing it; how much I need them.  To recover, to rejuvenate, to reflect.  To define myself.  To remind myself of who I think I am.  Who I want to believe I am.  To try and become the man I want to be.  The essence of Me-time.

As with most things, I feel I squander it too often.  Washing myself down the drain.  It isn't enough to simply relax, though that is definitely part of it; resting in preparation for the week ahead.  Once more unto the breach..., etc.  But Quiet and Alone come too rarely to be wasted on mere relaxation.  They are worth so much more than that.

Who are you, when you're by yourself?

When all you have to do, is be, what will you do?

Character, is who you are, in the dark.

It's time for my time.

And I know what to do with it.

Sunday Meditation...

Been real busy this week, for so many different reasons, so haven't had a lot of time to meditate.

The one time I did, it didn't go well.  And then I was out running errands all day yesterday and barely had any time at home at all.  So I definitely wanted to take advantage of the opportunity today.  It's beautiful outside, and we have all of our windows open, letting in the sunlight, and a crisp, fragrant Spring breeze.  Just being home is almost meditative right now.

But, still, I felt myself getting lazy.  I just wanted to watch TV.  Maybe play some video games, or take a bath and read.  I didn't get a chance to do my mathematics lesson this morning like I usually do, and part of me was telling myself that my time would be better spent on that, or some other more stimulating activity than simply sitting and breathing.  But nonetheless, I pushed all of those thoughts aside.  I could feel inside of myself, a sense of being out of balance.  I've been busy doing and thinking a lot lately, really getting lost in my head.  Somewhere inside, I could tell that what I needed right now was to give that part of me a break, and let my heart and my gut take over for a while.  I could feel that sense of flow inside of me, pulling me towards my cushions, and my altar, and a brief period of peace.

As always, I'm glad I followed my Tao.  It was just what I needed.

What I realize as I observe this, is the Tao of Listening Inside.

In every situation, we already know what to do.  Even when we don't.  The answer to every question is already inside of us.  When we don't know what to do, it is only because there is too much noise in the way.  If we can only learn to be quiet, and listen, then we will hear - and we will know.

In stillness and peace, the Path becomes clear.  And so we can choose to follow it.