Want And Will...

I've waited too long for Spring
Last year Winter never came
this year it wouldn't leave
And now I've waited too long for Spring
and now it all feels wrong
We should be halfway to Summer by now
but Spring has only just started
yesterday
was the first day
that we could really feel it
We opened the windows for the first time
since last Summer
and realized how long we'd been holding our breath
And, oh, this morning
it was PERFECT
in our home
The soft yellow light of our star sliding
through the slats covering our open windows
The soft, cool, petal-scented breeze blowing
through our rooms and halls
caressing my skin
I wanted to stay there forever
I've waited too long for this
I need it so badly
I need it to remind me 
that I am alive
and breathing
But I couldn't stay
I had to leave
There are bills to pay
I have to Take Care of Us
I have to work
I can't stay home
just because I want to play at feeling human
It took everything I had
and I stumbled along the way
many times
but eventually
I forced myself to do it
And I put on clothing
that covered my skin
so that I could no longer feel the breeze caressing me
And I closed the windows
to still the air
so that I could no longer smell the soft, petal-scents of Spring
And I closed the blinds
so that I was shut away from our star
and could no longer feel its warmth
or see its soft radiance
And then I stood a moment in the darkness
of our now ruined home
steeling myself again for what I knew
I had to do

In the office today
I could not stop wondering
whether I'm a Hero
or a Fool