Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Where We Played...

An old beat-up couch
and an antique desk
were the only furniture we had
We slept our first nights together
had our first kiss together
had our first come together
on a plastic air mattress
on the living room floor
The carpet was a thin industrial
floor mat
barely thick enough to keep out the splinters
We hung candles on the walls
and watched them glow
and watched the shadows dance
and let the wax drip spires on the floor
We built an altar
and a playspace of blankets
and quilts
piled high in the corner
by the door
We spent so many hours there
days and weeks all-told
in that corner
on those blankets
in front of our altar
playing
Playing with friends
Playing by ourselves
feeling each other out
figuring each other out
falling in Love
over and over again
and pouring it all into our life together
building it piece-by-piece
shaping it to hold our desires
to hold us together
Later on
all our friends
and family we Loved
would gather around
to watch us swear ourselves to each other
on that same spot
where we played
and Loved
in front of our altar
I can honestly say
I've never been happier
than I was
Loving you then
in the empty home we made together
in the place where we played and Loved
and built our altar

+     +     +

That it's only a memory now
is so bittersweet
So much joy to remember
but remembering only reminds
that those fantastical days are gone
Our altar is just a table now
the blankets packed away in storage
Even that corner of the apartment
where we'd built everything together
is gone
Where we'd made our Love and played
so carelessly and free
now cluttered with piles of boxes
full of junk
accumulated from the years of our lives together
Everything we had no place for
we stacked in the corner
filling in the space
where we used to sit side-by-side
and play
and Love
and weep and sing and dance and scream
until it was gone
until it was lost
and almost forgotten

+     +     +

I won't forget
The memory is all I have left
And even just the ghost of those times
means more to me now
than all the piles of junk
we clutter our hearts with these days
I won't forget
And I won't grieve
and I won't regret
I will remember
and I will Laugh
and I will look into your soft blue eyes
and I will remember how I saw you then
and I will be grateful for all we ever had
because it was so much
though we didn't know it then
So much more
than we ever needed
So much more
than we ever deserved
though we didn't know it then
now I cannot help but see
it was more than enough
More than enough
to fill a lifetime

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