Words Everyday...

I've decided - for my mental, emotional, spiritual, psychic, and perhaps even physical well-being - to try to post something here every day.  We'll see how long I'm able to keep that up.

I imagine most, if not all, of it will be like most everything else I write - masturbatory, self-indulgent drivel all about me, Me, ME.  But they say "write what you know," and what I know is introspection and self-analyzation.  I am, after all, my favorite subject to ponder.

I think a key to keeping it going will be to just write whatever I'm feeling right then, whatever comes into my head, whatever I want to write about.  No set topic, no set word limit, no pressure to do anything specific other than WRITE SOMETHING.  Again, we'll see how well I actually do.  But I'm looking forward to it.  It will feel good to do some small creative exercising every day.

...

Some people are able to walk the middle path.  Able to keep balance in their life.  I know that I have wanted that for as long as I have wanted at all.  And, I guess, in my way, I have been able to do that.  But not in a straight line.  Instead, looking back on my life, I see that I have always bounced back and forth from one extreme to the other, over and over and over, back and forth.  And there is definitely a kind of balance in that.  But not stability.

It's a violent kind of balance.  Not exactly the serenity one associates with the idea of "walking the middle path."  And, I must admit, not really what I want for myself, either.  I keep hoping that one of these days, I will end up in the middle.  That I will somehow bounce myself into a state of grace.  I'm not sure how realistic that is, though.  I like to believe that each time I whip from one pole to the other, that I get a little closer to the center, that I am drawing my poles closer and closer to each other with each oscillation.  But I don't know if this is true, or just wishful-thinking.

And another thought I try (and often fail) to not worry about:  is this what they refer to as "bi-polar?"

And if it is, then what does that mean for me?