Kickball - Week 4...

This was, by far, the most humiliating experience I've had with this so far.  It was like middle-school all over again.

POSITION:

          -the humiliation began when he actually benched me for the first two innings - he put the old
           guy with the limp (who has dropped every single ball that has come anywhere near him) on
           2nd base, for fuck's sake! - felt a little better when he switched out the old guy and put me on
           2nd for the 3rd and 4th innings, but then he put the old guy back in for the 5th and 6th!

           -that might have something to do with my one and only play at 2nd - in the 4th inning, a guy
           was running from 1st, and they threw me the ball very late - it hit my hands and immediately
           bounced out (kickballs are so bouncy that they're actually surprisingly hard to catch) - as I
           reached out to retrieve it, the runner ran straight into me, slamming his shoulder into my ear
           and almost knocking me over - luckily, he overran the base (ought to give you some idea how
           hard he hit me) and someone else managed to get the ball and tag him out before he could
           get back to 2nd - still, hardly a stellar play for me

AT THE PLATE:

          -I could not hit from this pitcher! - he threw these ridiculously bouncy curveballs - he walked a
           lot of kickers, honestly, but I was unfortunately not one of them - every pitch he threw me that
           looked like it was going to be a ball, would suddenly veer at the last second and turn into a
           strike - and every ball he threw that looked like a strike would suddenly bounce at the last
           second, so that I would end up ineffectively "kicking" it with my shin instead of my foot

          -I managed to "kick" three balls that way - the first one flew straight upwards off of my shin
           and slammed directly into my own face - ?! - I've never seen anything like that before! - so, of
           course, it would happen to me - now do you understand when I say it was like middle-school
           all over again? - to their credit, at least no one laughed - at least, not that I heard

          -the other two "kicks" were lazy pop-flys that never even made it to the pitcher's mound, and
           were easily caught - for the last one, the bases were loaded, we were down 4-1, and I was the
           final out to end the inning, meaning that even though we'd managed to load the bases, thanks
           to me, we hadn't scored a single run

FINAL:

          -Ok, here's where it gets interesting - we'd been down 4-1 since the 2nd inning - now it's the
           final inning, and we get a runner on base - then we get a second runner on base, but he
           manages to hurt himself running to 1st, so we need a pinch runner - as the last person out,
           that "honor" falls to me - here I was sitting on the sidelines, thinking "well, at least it's finally
           over and I won't have to embarrass myself anymore," and then suddenly I have to go run for
           this guy - and, of course, the final humiliation being that, the only way I managed to get on
           base all game was when someone else got hurt

          -so the next kicker gets out, but I manage to run to 2nd base before they can get me - next
           kicker also gets out, but our runner on 3rd manages to make it home, so now it's 4-2, with 2
           outs in the last inning, and I'm the only runner, on 2nd base - next guy gets a single, but it's
           kicked toward 3rd base, so I don't run, and so now we have runners on 1st and 2nd, and I
           have to run on the next kick - next kick is a pop-fly, and it looks like it's all over for us, but
           their pitcher drops the ball! - so I haul ass to 3rd base, and the pitcher throws the ball at
           me/towards 3rd to try and get me out, but he overthrows both me and the base, sending the
           ball into the outfield - so I round 3rd and keep going, booking it toward Home Plate - I see the
           ball sail over my head toward the catcher - I see him catch the ball, standing on top of Home
           Plate, and look directly at me, running straight toward him - I can't stop now, so I run straight
           at him, trying my best not to completely bowl him over, knowing that I'm out, again, and that
           this one ended the game, and that now we've lost, again, and that it's all my fault, again

          -And then I hear the Ump call, "Safe!" - everyone, myself included, simultaneously says,
           "What?!" - apparently, since the catcher was holding the ball against his chest, and standing
           directly on Home Plate, that meant I ran into the catcher, the ball and Home Plate at the
           same time, which means I was Safe - if the catcher had held the ball out in front of him, away
           from his chest, so that I hit the ball before I hit him and the plate, then I would've been out -
           but he didn't, so I wasn't

          -Holy Shit!  I managed to actually score a run!  And somehow, I did it without even getting a
           base hit

          -But then, even better, we got another base hit, and another run, to tie the game at 4-4! - so
           now we're thinking, "Awesome!  We didn't lose again!" - but then, miraculously, we got
           another base hit, and another run, so now the game's over, and it's 4-5, and WE WON!

          -Holy fucking shit, the Bad News Bears managed to win a game! - In the last inning! - With
           two outs! - WTF?!

          -So, now were 2-2 for the season.  Hallelujah. 

INJURIES:

          -Even though I collided with other players on two separate occasions, and managed to kick a
           ball into my own face, surprisingly I walked away without a scratch on me - not even so much
           as a sore muscle

          -Guess it turned out to be a good day, after all.